| Deb Johnson / Bipolar Chick - Sometimes it's just ALL about ME |
| Copyright 2010 Deborah Johnson, Bipolar Chick 2 the Rescue . All Rights Reserved. Privacy Statement, Medical Disclaimer & Copyright Statement |
Diagnosed in 1999 with Bipolar 2 Disorder explained a lot about me, especially TO me.
The wild mood swings, the frantic, sometimes violent outbursts and the feeling of being locked in a cage from
which I couldn't escape. Stabilization took a while but did happen after much therapy, meds and a great deal
of love and patience from my loved ones. I'm am writing a book about my journey through this often
misunderstood disease.
My mission is to share my experiences with others to inspire and encourage hope. I hope to help eliminate
the stigma attached to mental illness so that a person will seek the help they need for themselves or their
loved ones. No one is alone in this and help is available.
These are the basics: My name is Deb. I currently live in North Carolina with my handsome
husband, JC.
Before I knew what was going on:
In December of 1994, my step-father passed away, which resulted in my first deep depression that was
witnessed by a doctor. In an effort to help me out of the black hole I was drowning in, the doctor put me on
an anti-depressant. Oh...happy pill day! In just a few short weeks I was so excited about life that I jumped
out of bed every morning and ran to the gym for a hard workout. Then, I'd rush off to get the kids to school,
shot myself to work and then back to the gym after work. I lost a lot of weight in those first few months. I also
ran up my credit cards and left my husband and kids; I had no idea that this was what I looked like in a manic
episode.
During this crazy, runaway train period of my life, I met my second husband and divorced my first, in that
order (don't judge). I was drinking-a lot- and running around with my single friends. I was in no shape to
take care of my girls but that wasn't the reason I left them with their dad. I actually thought that I could
leave them briefly with their father until the divorce was final and I moved out of state. Why I would just
pick them up and take them with me. My ex and the courts had other ideas and I was plunged into the
uncharted territory of a non-custodial mother.
As mania dissipated and some sense of normalcy started to set in, the reality of my decisions started to
become very clear. I was now married to the love of my life, my soul mate but my children where three
states away living with their father and being told to hate me by his family (I was not their favorite person).
Every other weekend we ran back and forth between Virginia and New Jersey just to spend a few hours with
my girls. It was exhausting for everyone involved, especially going through DC and Baltimore traffic. The
girls would sleep in the car as we drove them back to VA. Once they were back in NJ, I couldn't walk by their
rooms without crying. It was a wonderful and horrible existence. Eventually, all of the emotions bouncing
around in my veins collided and turned into a roller coaster of depression, anxiety and hypo-manic craziness.
An accurate diagnosis was still a few years away. Left to my own devices this was a rough road for my family
as they could never be sure if I was up or down.
Click here to read about my diagnosis
The Superhero Theme: Bipolar Chick's Origin Story
When I was little, I wanted nothing more than to be a Superhero. I loved Wonder Woman, Bat Girl, The
Scarlet Witch and so many others.
Even as an adult, I've spent hours watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Laura Croft kicking ass. But let's
face it, these women are either independently wealthy or flat broke. I mean, honestly, Superheroes are great
but there's just no money in it. So I went to work in finance instead.
And then...
My Bipolar Alter Ego began to emerge, super powers and all. What super powers you ask? Knowledge and
Understanding are my powers against the stigma of mental illness. During initial treatment, I began to refer
to myself as Bipolar Chick thinking I may as well laugh about it now since there was no changing the facts.
And while BP sometimes gets me into trouble (oh the credit cards), I always manage to find my way through
it with the help of my Bipolar Chick self, family and friends.
When I decided to write a book about my experiences with Bipolar Disorder I knew that it should be told
through the eyes of my Bipolar Chick alter ego. She is a large part of the magical wonder that is me, after all.
So, here we go...trying to save the world one well placed word at a time...eradicateing the shame, blame and
toxic niceness that surrounds BD. And then perhaps world domination...but I'll let you know about that later.
mwahahaha......
The wild mood swings, the frantic, sometimes violent outbursts and the feeling of being locked in a cage from
which I couldn't escape. Stabilization took a while but did happen after much therapy, meds and a great deal
of love and patience from my loved ones. I'm am writing a book about my journey through this often
misunderstood disease.
My mission is to share my experiences with others to inspire and encourage hope. I hope to help eliminate
the stigma attached to mental illness so that a person will seek the help they need for themselves or their
loved ones. No one is alone in this and help is available.
These are the basics: My name is Deb. I currently live in North Carolina with my handsome
husband, JC.
Before I knew what was going on:
In December of 1994, my step-father passed away, which resulted in my first deep depression that was
witnessed by a doctor. In an effort to help me out of the black hole I was drowning in, the doctor put me on
an anti-depressant. Oh...happy pill day! In just a few short weeks I was so excited about life that I jumped
out of bed every morning and ran to the gym for a hard workout. Then, I'd rush off to get the kids to school,
shot myself to work and then back to the gym after work. I lost a lot of weight in those first few months. I also
ran up my credit cards and left my husband and kids; I had no idea that this was what I looked like in a manic
episode.
During this crazy, runaway train period of my life, I met my second husband and divorced my first, in that
order (don't judge). I was drinking-a lot- and running around with my single friends. I was in no shape to
take care of my girls but that wasn't the reason I left them with their dad. I actually thought that I could
leave them briefly with their father until the divorce was final and I moved out of state. Why I would just
pick them up and take them with me. My ex and the courts had other ideas and I was plunged into the
uncharted territory of a non-custodial mother.
As mania dissipated and some sense of normalcy started to set in, the reality of my decisions started to
become very clear. I was now married to the love of my life, my soul mate but my children where three
states away living with their father and being told to hate me by his family (I was not their favorite person).
Every other weekend we ran back and forth between Virginia and New Jersey just to spend a few hours with
my girls. It was exhausting for everyone involved, especially going through DC and Baltimore traffic. The
girls would sleep in the car as we drove them back to VA. Once they were back in NJ, I couldn't walk by their
rooms without crying. It was a wonderful and horrible existence. Eventually, all of the emotions bouncing
around in my veins collided and turned into a roller coaster of depression, anxiety and hypo-manic craziness.
An accurate diagnosis was still a few years away. Left to my own devices this was a rough road for my family
as they could never be sure if I was up or down.
Click here to read about my diagnosis
The Superhero Theme: Bipolar Chick's Origin Story
When I was little, I wanted nothing more than to be a Superhero. I loved Wonder Woman, Bat Girl, The
Scarlet Witch and so many others.
Even as an adult, I've spent hours watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Laura Croft kicking ass. But let's
face it, these women are either independently wealthy or flat broke. I mean, honestly, Superheroes are great
but there's just no money in it. So I went to work in finance instead.
And then...
My Bipolar Alter Ego began to emerge, super powers and all. What super powers you ask? Knowledge and
Understanding are my powers against the stigma of mental illness. During initial treatment, I began to refer
to myself as Bipolar Chick thinking I may as well laugh about it now since there was no changing the facts.
And while BP sometimes gets me into trouble (oh the credit cards), I always manage to find my way through
it with the help of my Bipolar Chick self, family and friends.
When I decided to write a book about my experiences with Bipolar Disorder I knew that it should be told
through the eyes of my Bipolar Chick alter ego. She is a large part of the magical wonder that is me, after all.
So, here we go...trying to save the world one well placed word at a time...eradicateing the shame, blame and
toxic niceness that surrounds BD. And then perhaps world domination...but I'll let you know about that later.
mwahahaha......
| Self Discovery was my path to Recovery |