I’m having a problem blogging. I’m not sure anyone will want to read about my ups and downs with bipolar disorder but I do have things to say about it. I’ve been home; stuck in the mud; going to the doctors; and trying to regain a sense of normalcy for two months. I love to work, so two months is a long time for me to be home. My head hurts all the time and I haven’t been sleeping but I think the increase of anti-depressant and the addition of a mood stabilizer is finally having an effect. I’m scheduled to return to work on July 1st. Problem is: work caused this depression episode in the first place. Ugh. If I go back it has to be in a different job but I don’t think they have anything open so then what? I don’t want to have to quit but I can’t even drive by the building without feeling uptight. You know the definition of crazy: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I’m too old for this crap. I thought I had this under control and yet the one thing I’ve learned about life is that we can manage outside forces but control them…ha! I hate when I feel this way. It’s so counter productive. Like I said…stuck in the mud…it gets you no where. Uh oh…starting to get visual disturbances…freaky flashes of iridescent waves, this usually means a migraine is not too far behind. Great I could really use that! Just piling on the crap. Ahhhh!
May 26
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