| The Birth of Bipolar Chick Who knew one simple diagnosis would create a Super Heroine? |
| Copyright 2010, Bipolar Chick 2 the Rescue is a division of JDC Coaching & Consulting. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Statement, Medical Disclaimer & Copyright Statement |
®
 |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |
A South Jersey Girl living in North Carolina, searching for good pizza & dispelling the myths about mental illness (and the Jersey Shore - sigh). More... |
| Where can you find me? here, there & everywhere! |
| Awards ~ I'm Honored! |
Hello! I'm Deb Johnson,
aka Bipolar Chick.
aka Bipolar Chick.
| Blogging is Good for the Soul Between the Broken Places ~all things bipolar~ La Bella Pazza ~the crazy beauty's weight loss~ Raison d'etra ~reason for being~ coming soon |
"Pay attention, you're going to have to explain this to the doctor because you're going blind" was my only
thought as the iridescent, wavy band of lights danced before my eyes. It was scary and within a half hour I
was curled up in the health unit with the most excruciating headache I'd ever experienced. The headache
would continue for the next 26 (yes, twenty-six) days. My family doctor found that I had high blood
pressure but when treatment for that did not end the headaches, she sent me to a Neurologist. I was put
through a battery of tests and when nothing was one that would hopefully cure my heavy smoking habit
as well as my pain. The headache's eventually went away; I did not stop smoking for several more years.
DANGER ZONE:
Remember what happened last time I was placed on an anti-depressant? (click here to be reminded)
Now wait for it...
That's right - MANIA CITY - the happiest place on Earth. Okay, not really. But, I digress...
OH WAIT! IMPORTANT INFORMATION INTERJECTION!
I suffer from unresolved Abandonment Issues. This is a long story involving an MIA Dad, perhaps I'll get to
that later. But I digress...
My husband, JC, was in the Air Force when we met and married. I had no idea how much he was going to
travel or be stationed in places I could not go. We joked at our 10 year anniversary that the secret to our
marriage was spending half of it apart. So it's important for you to know that the girl with abandonment
issues married the soul mate who was constantly leaving her alone. Ironic, huh? Hmmmmm...
Let's continue...
July - September 1999
After a couple of months on the anti-depressant the beginnings of mania started to take shape. My
husband was away at a four week training course and I was home alone with the dogs. I began to go
shopping...a lot. I reached a point where I believed there was no need to do laundry when I could just buy
new clothes (I own more underwear than any three people I know). I also decided, as my mind was racing
around at a 1000 miles an hour, that the Gift Basket shop I had always wanted to own would be a good
Home Based business and if not now, when? Mind you, I had a full time job at the time but no matter my
motto was - "There's no time to do it unless there's no time to do it." Brilliant!
So, I recruited a friend to help me with research and development, got a business license, christened my
business Crystal Chalice Gift Baskets and started creating my master pieces. Now I have to say that I put
together a lovely gift basket but I was all over the place. I envisioned so many different themes that I
couldn't keep up with the supplies much less the money I needed to put out for said supplies (oh sweet credit
cards). I would work all day at my "real" job and then I'd work all night at my "really, real job".
Sleep...not a problem, who needed sleep.?
Let me tell you, no good can come from no sleep but what did I know, I was higher than a kite on crack.
I think JC came home after the four weeks but I don't really remember. Attention to the details of life
beyond work was of no concern to me. I do know that he was off to another school for several months
eventually leaving me to my own devices for a total of just about three months. Whoo Hoo!
DANGER ZONE:
What goes up, must come down.
RANDOM INFORMATION INTERJECTION!
Winston Churchill referred to his depression as the Black Dog. Churchill's Black Dog
October 1999 - one of my very favorite months!
After several months of euphoric hypomania my Black Dog was howling to get in. So with no one around
to stop me, I opened the door and let the mauling begin. I sank quickly into the deeper well of depression. I
begged my husband to come home but he was almost finished training and needed to complete the course.
In his defense, he had no idea what was going on at home. I cried all the time, uncontrollably. I slept all the
time. I barely made it to my real job much less my "really, real job". I could no longer focus or hold
meaningful conversations. I became empty. I was ceasing to exist and on some level I was ok with that.
My friends worried out loud to each other, to the nurses at work and finally to my face. I began to feel
responsible for everyone else's feelings. The guilt and pain of toxic niceness became the weight that held me
under the water waiting for me to drown.
Finally, a girl friend who suffers from Bipolar Disorder convinced me to see a psychiatrist. I went and
many probing questions later the diagnosis was in...Bipolar Disorder. This was not a shock. The words
sang a familiar tune in my fractured brain. Manic Depression...no kidding.
DANGER ZONE:
Sometimes you get worse before you get better.
Diagnosis Continued