| Copyright 2010 Deborah Johnson, Bipolar Chick 2 the Rescue. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Statement, Medical Disclaimer & Copyright Statement |
IMPORTANT INFORMATION INTERJECTION!
Anti-depressants given alone can result in mania for Bipolar patients.
A gender bias exists in the diagnosis of bipolar disorder: women are far more likely to be misdiagnosed
with depression and men are far more likely to be misdiagnosed with schizophrenia. (DBSA, 2000)
November 1999
The merry-go-round of medications started almost immediately. My psychiatrist had me stay home
from work for several weeks as my body and brain got used to the meds. This is the time when life got
harder. I was finally learning that depression did not go away by itself or just with medication, my
participation was required. Crap! I didn't want to move much less engage in depression busting
activities. I was spending most of my time off going to my psychiatrist, my therapist, the lab (for blood
work) or sitting on the floor in my bedroom banging my head against the wall. This was not a happy
time. As the meds infiltrated my blood stream the fog began to lift. I found it easier to reach out to my
family and friends without the impending fear of guilt. I returned to work and making gift baskets. Just
as life started to take shape in this new form of normalcy, a phone message from my family doctor set me
back on my ass reeling towards the deeper well of depression once more.
November 1999 Part Two
"I've just gotten your blood work back and it looks like your diabetic."
These were the words left on my voice mail on a Friday afternoon by my family doctor. I had no idea
why she had read my blood work since it had been my psychiatrist who had ordered the tests. And she
had left the message late enough in the day that it would be impossible for me to reach her until
Monday. It was a horrible weekend. I was washing the dishes when my husband came home that night
and I just began to rant and rave that if I had diabetes I was just going to jump off a roof as I could not
possibly have one more thing wrong with me. After talking to the doctor on Monday we set up a fasting
blood test which eventually led to the diagnosis of diabetes being confirmed. I sobbed so hard in her
office that we could not finish our discussion regarding treatment. I later saw in my file that the doctor
had noted that I had been inconsolable. No shit, didn't she know that I was suffering a major depression
episode!?! Oh...well actually, no she didn't...I hadn't bothered to tell her. Ooops.
DANGER ZONE:
Not letting all of your doctors in on your Bipolar Disorder diagnosis can be dangerous to your health.
Christmas with the kids...spent their entire visit in bed with the flu. Very Merry
and very Diva like as everyone gathered around my bed to open presents.
December 30th - unexplained bleeding...lots and lots of bleeding and home
alone. What's happening? Was I dying?
Rushed to the hospital via ambulance, we found out the worst news I could
imagine - Miscarriage. I hadn't even known I was pregnant.
January 2000
Told that my body could no longer maintain a pregnancy due to my other
illnesses and the medications they required, the Black Dog began to howl
again. High Blood Pressure, Diabetes, and Bipolar Disorder ended my dream of
having a baby with my soul mate. I was informed that a tubal ligation was the
best way for me to prevent any future pregnancies. I was disturbed and
disgusted with my body for failing me. I knew this was my fault...I was to blame.
March 2000
We commenced with the tubal ligation. I did not want to have this done. The
feeling was similar to being raped, which I have been so I know what I'm
talking about. I willed myself to die on the table, that would show them all!
(whoever, they were???)
June 2000
While visiting my daughters an argument broke out between my
ex-sister-in-law and me. It was ugly and done in front of my eldest
Chicklet...who would be angry with me for this for a long time to come. I began
to think that the "crazy girl" was rearing her head and returning to New Jersey
was not a sane thing for me to do. However, a dance recital was in just two
weeks and I promised to attend. Two days before we were to leave for NJ,
stomach pains -unlike anything I had felt before-sent me to the hospital. My
gall bladder was hot and needed to be removed. When they got me on the
table, my infected gall bladder ruptured and I almost fulfilled my death wish.
It had been a long 13 months!
Okay ~ Now Your Turn ~ Click Here
| The Birth of Bipolar Chick Diagnosis |
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