Every story has a beginning...the bipolar part of mine
began when I was a teen-ager but went unnamed until
October of 1999
began when I was a teen-ager but went unnamed until
October of 1999
Diagnosed in 1999 with Bipolar 1 Disorder explained a lot about me.
The wild mood swings, the frantic outbursts and the feeling of being locked in a cage from
which I couldn't escape. Stabilization took a while but did happen after much therapy, meds
and a great deal of love and patience from my loved ones. I'm am writing a book about my
journey through this often misunderstood disease.
My mission is to share my experiences with others to inspire and encourage hope. I hope to
help eliminate the stigma attached to mental illness so that a person will seek the help they
need for themselves or their loved ones.. No one is alone in this and help is available.
Here's the story...of a crazy lady (Brady Bunch theme dancing in my head)
These are the basics: My name is Deb. I currently live in North Carolina with my handsome
husband, JC.
We have three lovely and talented daughters (see for yourself-below), who shall from
this point forward be known as the Chickletts. I'll have to check with them before
I start posting identifying information...you know, to protect the potentially embarrassed.
and our three wonderful and very spoiled dogs: Bella, Sampson and Delilah (aka Sam & Lilah).
Lilah and Sam ( aka Sampson & Delilah )at 10wks Grand Dame Bella
Sam 16 months Lilah
Go ahead and say it....Awwwww
The wild mood swings, the frantic outbursts and the feeling of being locked in a cage from
which I couldn't escape. Stabilization took a while but did happen after much therapy, meds
and a great deal of love and patience from my loved ones. I'm am writing a book about my
journey through this often misunderstood disease.
My mission is to share my experiences with others to inspire and encourage hope. I hope to
help eliminate the stigma attached to mental illness so that a person will seek the help they
need for themselves or their loved ones.. No one is alone in this and help is available.
Here's the story...of a crazy lady (Brady Bunch theme dancing in my head)
These are the basics: My name is Deb. I currently live in North Carolina with my handsome
husband, JC.
We have three lovely and talented daughters (see for yourself-below), who shall from
this point forward be known as the Chickletts. I'll have to check with them before
I start posting identifying information...you know, to protect the potentially embarrassed.
and our three wonderful and very spoiled dogs: Bella, Sampson and Delilah (aka Sam & Lilah).
Lilah and Sam ( aka Sampson & Delilah )at 10wks Grand Dame Bella
Sam 16 months Lilah
Go ahead and say it....Awwwww
Before I knew what was going on:
In December of 1994, my step-father passed away, which resulted in my first deep depression
that was witnessed by a doctor. In an effort to help me out of the black hole I was drowning
in, the doctor put me on an anti-depressant. Oh...happy pill day! In just a few short weeks I
was so excited about life that I jumped out of bed every morning and ran to the gym for a hard
workout. Then, I'd rush off to get the kids to school, shot myself to work and then back to the
gym after work. I lost a lot of weight in those first few months. I also ran up my credit cards
and left my husband and kids; I had no idea that this was what I looked like in a manic episode.
During this crazy runaway train period of my life, I met my second husband and divorced my
first, in that order. I was drinking-a lot and running around with my single friends. I was in no
shape to take care of my girls but that wasn't the reason I left them with their dad. I actually
thought that I could leave them briefly with their father until the divorce was final and I moved
out of state. Why I would just pick them up and take them with me. My ex and the courts had
other ideas and I was plunged into the uncharted territory of a non-custodial mother.
As mania dissipated and some sense of normalcy started to set in, the reality of my decisions
started to become very clear. I was now married to the love of my life, my soul mate but my
children where three states away living with their father and being told to hate me by his
family (I was not their favorite person). Every other weekend we ran back and forth between
Virginia and New Jersey just to spend a few hours with my girls. It was exhausting for
everyone involved, especially going through DC and Baltimore traffic. The girls would sleep
in the car as we drove them back to VA. Once they were back in NJ, I couldn't walk by their
rooms without crying. It was a wonderful and horrible existence. Eventually, all of the
emotions bouncing around in my veins collided and turned into a roller coaster of
depression, anxiety and hypo-manic craziness. An accurate diagnosis was still a few years
away. Left to my own devices this was a rough road for my family as they could never be sure
if I was up or down.
Click here to read about my diagnosis
In December of 1994, my step-father passed away, which resulted in my first deep depression
that was witnessed by a doctor. In an effort to help me out of the black hole I was drowning
in, the doctor put me on an anti-depressant. Oh...happy pill day! In just a few short weeks I
was so excited about life that I jumped out of bed every morning and ran to the gym for a hard
workout. Then, I'd rush off to get the kids to school, shot myself to work and then back to the
gym after work. I lost a lot of weight in those first few months. I also ran up my credit cards
and left my husband and kids; I had no idea that this was what I looked like in a manic episode.
During this crazy runaway train period of my life, I met my second husband and divorced my
first, in that order. I was drinking-a lot and running around with my single friends. I was in no
shape to take care of my girls but that wasn't the reason I left them with their dad. I actually
thought that I could leave them briefly with their father until the divorce was final and I moved
out of state. Why I would just pick them up and take them with me. My ex and the courts had
other ideas and I was plunged into the uncharted territory of a non-custodial mother.
As mania dissipated and some sense of normalcy started to set in, the reality of my decisions
started to become very clear. I was now married to the love of my life, my soul mate but my
children where three states away living with their father and being told to hate me by his
family (I was not their favorite person). Every other weekend we ran back and forth between
Virginia and New Jersey just to spend a few hours with my girls. It was exhausting for
everyone involved, especially going through DC and Baltimore traffic. The girls would sleep
in the car as we drove them back to VA. Once they were back in NJ, I couldn't walk by their
rooms without crying. It was a wonderful and horrible existence. Eventually, all of the
emotions bouncing around in my veins collided and turned into a roller coaster of
depression, anxiety and hypo-manic craziness. An accurate diagnosis was still a few years
away. Left to my own devices this was a rough road for my family as they could never be sure
if I was up or down.
Click here to read about my diagnosis
The Superhero Theme: Bipolar Chick's Origin Story
When I was little, I wanted nothing more than to be a Superhero. I loved Wonder Woman, Bat
Girl, The Scarlet Witch and so many others.
Even as an adult, I've spent hours watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Laura Croft kicking
ass. But let's face it, these women are either independently wealthy or flat broke. I mean,
honestly, Superheroes are great but there's just no money in it. So I went to work in finance
instead.
And then...
My Bipolar Alter Ego began to emerge, super powers and all. What super powers you ask?
Knowledge and Understanding are my powers against the stigma of mental illness. During
initial treatment, I began to refer to myself as Bipolar Chick thinking I may as well laugh about
it now since there was no changing the facts. And while BP sometimes gets me into trouble
(oh the credit cards), I always manage to find my way through it with the help of my Bipolar
Chick self, family and friends.
When I decided to write a book about my experiences with Bipolar Disorder I knew that it
should be told through the eyes of my Bipolar Chick alter ego. She is a large part of the
magical wonder that is me, after all. So, here we go...trying to save the world one well placed
word at a time...eradicateing the shame, blame and toxic niceness that surrounds BD. And
then perhaps world domination...but I'll let you know about that later. mwahahaha......
When I was little, I wanted nothing more than to be a Superhero. I loved Wonder Woman, Bat
Girl, The Scarlet Witch and so many others.
Even as an adult, I've spent hours watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Laura Croft kicking
ass. But let's face it, these women are either independently wealthy or flat broke. I mean,
honestly, Superheroes are great but there's just no money in it. So I went to work in finance
instead.
And then...
My Bipolar Alter Ego began to emerge, super powers and all. What super powers you ask?
Knowledge and Understanding are my powers against the stigma of mental illness. During
initial treatment, I began to refer to myself as Bipolar Chick thinking I may as well laugh about
it now since there was no changing the facts. And while BP sometimes gets me into trouble
(oh the credit cards), I always manage to find my way through it with the help of my Bipolar
Chick self, family and friends.
When I decided to write a book about my experiences with Bipolar Disorder I knew that it
should be told through the eyes of my Bipolar Chick alter ego. She is a large part of the
magical wonder that is me, after all. So, here we go...trying to save the world one well placed
word at a time...eradicateing the shame, blame and toxic niceness that surrounds BD. And
then perhaps world domination...but I'll let you know about that later. mwahahaha......
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1965, 1 yr old -
born to fight the
good fight.
born to fight the
good fight.
1966,2 yrs old My first
Super Hero costume - Cat
Woman.
Super Hero costume - Cat
Woman.